I write this assuming that the people reading it work hard for their money and would like to spend it wisely. Simply put, this isn't the place to do it. Unless of course you enjoy overpriced, dishonest food.
First off, the balls of butter. Do not touch them. The reason they've deviated from their spherical shape is because they've been presented to many tables before yours. That is, each time a table is cleared, the leftover butter put back into the refrigerator by the hands of an employee. Then when a new table arrives, the employee simply goes back and grabs the used butter, and presents it along side the store bought microwaved croissants. Nothing goes to waste on this sinking ship. If you want to be a good samaritan to a random stranger, then simply smash the ball of butter until flat, then they won't be able to reuse it.
The ""World Famous"" french toast has been sitting in a refrigerator for god knows how long. When it's time to be served, it's simply thrown in the microwave, and nuked for a few minutes, leaving that nice watery egg juice you'll find at the bottom of the plate. Don't make the mistake of thinking the microwave technique is limited to the french toast either. It's one of the fundamental touches of many of the dishes on the menu. Just listen for the symphony of beeping emanating from the kitchen.
Don't be fooled by the ""fresh baked"" pastries. They've probably been sitting behind that counter since the previous year's holiday that they were so adorably decorated for. It was only after being made aware that one of the chocolate cakes were growing blue and white mold that the chef removed it from the display case. I wouldn't be surprised if he found some creative way of implementing it in another dish.
After the departure of a customer, the tables are wiped with the used napkins of the customers, and if the napkin isn't completely saturated with the customer's facial residue and windex, then it is stored for further use behind the pastry counter or in the red cup on the service table upstairs.
The rags used to dry the glassware are used to the point at which they look as though a coal miner used them as washcloths after a hard day's work.
Oh yeah, and if you happened to be there in the past few days and develop a cough, you might want to get checked up, because you may have bronchitis. That's because the chef admitted to having bronchitis and has managed to continue cooking between his coughing fits. Gotta admire his dedication.
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