When the sun comes out in Portland, old ladies do their heckling on their porch, rather than in front of the tv. Cape clad children run around like deranged mental patients in a lightening storm. Bikers materialize on the side of the road and sun starved citizens earn a crick in their neck for their unfettered appreciation of that glowing orb.
And the college students? Well they drink outside, rather than inside.
So if, turning cartwheels in Pioneer Place isn’t exactly your cup of tea- I recommend you take a seat at what is legitimately reclaiming its spot in America’s slowly deteriorating heart as its favorite pastime- baseball. (And any country whose favorite pastime is sitting around and drinking while poor fools sweat it out in front for entertainment is a country I can be proud of). Dedicated fans lace through the plastic chairs, patiently waiting for a spot in the luxurious Beer Garden. Oh if only the beer really did grown from the ground. But Thirsty Thursday is terrific; the place is packed and the pints are three dollars. Go early because the garden fills up quickly. And, in a massive lack of foresight on the part of those fools in the baseball park, there are NO BATHROOMS in the Beer Garden – meaning beer swilling fiends have to go all the way back into the main part of the stadium for release, and then wait in the massive line to get back in. My advice: hold it as long as possible, and then just go to the stadium seats- you are there to watch a game after all.
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