I've probably played Monopoly a hundred times (well actually, quite a bit less than that. It wouldn't have sounded as strong if I had said "ten times") and I don't think I've ever bought, traded for, or in any way acquired Indiana Avenue. Likewise, I've walked up and down The Ave. a hundred times (here, I'm not exaggerating) and have never bought pizza from A-Pizza Mart. Okay, I did walk in there one time because I felt sorry that no one was in there. The pizza was unremarkable. At any rate, A-Pizza Mart is the Indiana Avenue of pizza places: it's arguably the most nondescript locale in the game.
How A-Pizza Mart stays in business is a conundrum of sorts. I mean, let's be honest, in all my years of passing by the place I've never seen anyone in there other than the little lady behind the counter. In fact, if anyone can document a legitimate patron sighting at A-Pizza Mart, I'll award them with a free slice of pizza and a small ice water* (*see disclaimer).
I sometimes fantasize that A-Pizza Mart is a front for a local cockfighting ring, or somehow connected to an illegal tea laundering scheme set up by the same people who were harboring Trotsky's axe. But most likely this is a legit business all done via delivery. Oh well, so much for excitement.
(*Disclaimer: Offer ends 12/23/05. Not available in all areas. Void where prohibited. Offer not available to A-Pizza Mart employees or residents under 18. Residents of Oregon must pay sales tax.)
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