After being out for so long now I still have nightmares where no matter what we as a family did, it was never good enough or just plain enough. It's disheartening. And- the rules change to keep the flock unsettled. A quiet word here or there from the Sr pastor's wife kept my family life in flux and a spirit of fear active. Because the only Christianity I ever learned came from the pulpit there I always thought I was the problem- they heard from God- who was I to question. At the same time the pastor told us in the ministry training school that we were given a brain for a reason. I guess once people begin to use that brain questions are inevitable. I still miss my old friends and prayer partners terribly. I miss the huge holidays gatherings we had at our home and the parties we had that included the entire church membership- not all came but all were invited. I thought that was a natural part of family life. Then my best friend stopped taking my calls- don't know why, but I miss her still. My family has been Out of Lakeview for 8 year now. I am finally starting to live again. After being kicked out I was treated for PTSD. Being a church member shouldn't cause such a thing. It took moving all the way across the country to be able to go out of the house without fear. Fear of seeing my former brothers and sisters in public and having them turn their backs on me rather than ay hello. There s life after Lakeview- itjust took a long time to find it.We were members for over 30 years- then we were kicked out! Though it's been traumatic, in the extreme, it's probably the best thing to have happened to us. We only live here so long and it's painful to think that so many years were spent badly. Many people there are good, loving people- but all I can think to say is that they and we were kept so long through fear. No one has the right to interfere with families. The leadership has no problem destroying marriages and forcing families to be ripped apart. I don't know why anyone stays, but then we did... for a very long time.
more