Washington has a paucity of places that take pride in making a great hamburger. And some of the best have only sprung up in the past couple years. One of the most anticipated openings was the 2008 debut of a burger shack in an otherwise nondescript commercial strip that happened to have housed the Hell(burger)-raising local favorite Ray’s Steaks. It’s not a patty; it’s a hunk of chopped chuck from the scraps of Ray’s prime cuts that makes you earn its taste by opening wide and wrap your jaws around a half-pound of seared flesh. Tender enough to chomp through it with ease but substantial enough to enjoy yourself doing it—and even hope it took a little longer as your taste buds soak up every ounce of the succulent juices. Though they still linger with every bite, I couldn’t put it down—because of the instant gratification it inspires and because it made because there was a pool of flavor still resting on my plate.
You’ll find better burgers, but you’d be hard-pressed to do it in this town. In a day that I read Hemingway and watched USA beat Canada at their own game, neither made me feel as proud to be an American as gorging on a half pound of prime beef. And neither made me feel as much a man. To put it one way, four paper towels later, the smell of my hands still made my mouth water. Though the Hellburger sparked a slew of competitors cashing in on the $7 burger movement, Ray’s is still on top until proven otherwise, flipping all attempted usurpers back to the grilling board.
Extras: Ray’s also supplies a wide range of drink options, from wine and Belgian beer Delirium Nocturnum (sister to the more celebrated Delirium Tremens) to root beer on draft and a variety of gourmet sodas perfect for an ice cream float—if you still have room.
Pros: Best if eaten after watching an Old Spice commercial
Cons: May inspire fetish for vampire fiction
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