Sam Nazarian strikes again. With Starck and Andres latched firmly on his nipple, Bazaar at the new SLS Hotel spares no expense. Well, maybe some but gets a solid win despite it.
The hotel took so long to open that I was sure of the project's death. Shows what I know. Sammy Boy Entertainment (or SBE without deeper meaning as he likes to lie to interviewers) has so much money behind it that whatever problems they were having were simply waited out. Didn't even have to sell one of his 12 cars or sub-lease the Veyron. Money clearly ain't no thang considering dysfunctions in the company ensure that not a single bar they've ever opened turns a profit. Except The Abby. Gays are profitable. LA hipsters ain't. But who cares when daddy has a billion dollars? Here's a few mil kiddo. Go away and don't bug me. Sammy got enough to buy publicity with Fortune ride-alongs, Entourage cameos and Top Chef judgeships. Good for him, but we're not here to gossip about Nazarian or envy his estate. We wish to analyze Bazaar on its own merit.
LA restaurants require LA yardsticks. Else, details like timely seating, flighty service and hour-long valet lines would sink them. Bazaar was spectacularly busy even though the place had been open for months. This means ordering will be a lottery of fame and prettiness. This time was no different except that our order was actually taken and delivered in under 5 minutes. A remarkable change of pace in a city whose default motion is through motor oil: slimy, dirty and slow. But Bazaar did better. And made us pay. The disparity between the prices of their food and drinks is canyonesque. A $23 bottle of Peay Vineyards Pinot sells for $19/glass. A Maker's neat goes for $12. Pretty steep but they're not afraid to pour making the ""shot"" in reality a triple. For $4 it's a steal.
But the food sure hits the sweet spot. And saltiness. And umami. Mention must be made of the Jose Andres take on Philly Cheese Steak which consists of a toasty dumpling filled with melted truffled cheese and topped with a near-raw slice of Wagyu. $8 for a single but worth more. Astounding. I ordered one and got two. It was meant for the party next to us. They let me keep the extra portion. Then, a few minutes later, I got ANOTHER plate delivered with the proper single serve. I didn't eat it out of politeness but really wanted to. The most expensive item was the lamb at $16. It was worth it. The rest of the items, although good, could not match the the Philly. It was the evening's highlight. As was the bill. Had we nothing to drink, 8 dishes would have cost $90. Recession pricing indeed.
The evening's low is LA, not the restaurant itself. They did not seat us until we checked up on our status. An old trick and with the bar prices, a profitable one. The waitress, although competent, had that annoying personality common to those who believe their life to be a stage. And the valet line took 20 minutes to pay the bill and another 25 to get the car. Incompetence by any yardstick. But the people here wait and say nothing which is so different from the adolescent tantrums they throw at every other thing. What is it about cars and parking that bring out LA's best when it should bring out its worst? I'd rather treat my waiter well and leave tire-tread on the snout of whoever schedules valets. Plan ahead moron. But, it is not fair to judge an LA restaurant by its support services the problems of which are endemic in the city. Bazaar is a fantastic deal in a place where deals are hard to come by. You should go before Sammy Boy Nazarian changes his mind.
Love,
Mealschpeal com
Pros: Food Prices
Cons: Drink Prices
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