We came here because my daughter wants to take us to restaurants in the ‘hood. (Trendy neighborhoods) Those bohemian lifestyle eateries as it were. We came on Saturday evening about 7 PM. We were asked if we had a reservation (the place was half empty). We were place in the back corner (I was actually facing the corner with my back to the room). How great is that! The walls are covered with Italian junk posters, etc, with no rhyme or reason (This must serve as ambience). The guy at the piano played a plethora of indistinguishable elevator tunes that abused the ear drum. (More ambience?) Our server, Chad was courteous, but a droid could have completed the same function. He took our order and that was that, he was not seen again until after the plates were removed. I asked him how the lasagna was served. He started to tell me “how it was made”. I asked was it “served” in a boat with cheesy stuff on top and he unfortunately confirmed it was. I told him that was not for me. So I ordered the Manicotti (he said nothing, see below) A basket of house bread showed up. This machine sliced bread had one side soaked in garlic butter. Nasty!
I ordered the house salad. Big mistake. Limp Iceberg lettuce with a clump of factory cut julienne carrots on top. The house vinaigrette was even worse then the salad. Disgusting! The wife got the lasagna in the boat. I tried it. The stuff was dry and bland but at least it was not overly sweetened as most of these sham Italian dives serve. Daughter had Gamberi de la casa. (Angle hair pasta with shrimp and scallops) I can’t tell you about that dish. The granddaughter had half order of spaghetti with meat ball.
My order of manicotti was served in a boat dish. You know you’re in trouble when it’s served in a boat. Once I got past the gelatinous layer of insipid cheese covering the top, it just got better. The contents of the shells (I guess it was cheese) was the consistency of lukewarm Milk of Magnesia and tasted the same. This stuff could not be worse if it had come from a can of SpaghettiOs ®
When Chad finally showed up, we got the obligatory, “anything else; desert?” (I’ll take a barf bag to go please.) I told him the manicotti was the worst I had ever had and told him that it was served in a “Boat??” He told me he “thought I understood that that was the way it was served” In a BOAT, OMG! He then asked me how it should me done. (I thought that crap should be served to the commode). He had the offending charge removed from the bill, but the insult of this experience has no recompense.
This restaurant claims to be a blend of Texas, American and Italian. Okay, the deco is what an Easterner would conjure as Texas (Tex/ital). The food is as American as Chef Boyardee and as pricey as a real Italian restaurant. If I could have chewed my arm off to get out of there I would have. But, you know, the Mrs., would not allow. Gave Chad 15%++ tip, not because of his service, but that is what the wife insists on and “you know.” More than half of the “good reviews” posted here are for the piano player that is no longer employed. Does that tell you anything? Never Again. I will not call this place “Crapatore”. Ooops.
Pros: None
Cons: Too Many
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