I am pretty sure my delivery driver was homeless. I saw him last week by the 15/501- 40 intersection wearing a safety vest, holding a sign that read; ""WAS MOLESTED AT STATE FAIR! DONATIONS HELP. I HAVE PROSTATE CANCER. I SLEEP IN THE WOODS. GOD BLESS."" He called me 15 minutes before he got here and asked for directions and made me stay on the phone with him the whole time, every ten seconds he kept saying, ""HELLO?"". He said I would be his own personal G.P.S. and constantly asked ""Where the party at tonight""? He arrived to my home after step my step directions and it took him an additional 5 minutes to stumble from his ""ride"" to my ""crib"". My pizza was not cooked properly and was soggy and hepatitisy. He had no pen for me to sign the recipt with so I had to use a crayon. I feel like I need to tell A grown up about this experience. I feel like a back up dancer for Nelly after his first big audition that got him a jumpstart for his career. I have a bad taste in my mouth.
Pros: I am still alive
Cons: Regurgitated silently in my sleep for a week afterwords.
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