With respect to ""Car. C."" I completely agree that the people who are living a shadow life in the church are helping to prop up a corrupt regime. That said, I have full sympathy for those who might like to leave and feel they cannot.\r
\r
I was lucky enough to leave with my family, keeping us intact and thus I didn't pay that price. And so I can't say exactly what I'd do. The most I can bring to bear is what I've learned in the years since and make my theoretical decision that way. \r
\r
The first truth is that family is the most important thing we have in this life, and friends second. That is why the casual way this church discards people, to prove their ever-hardening resolve, is a near-blasphemy. And so I cannot, at first, recommend that someone leave, and discard (even if it is in no way their choice), their own church-bound family. If family is first, then we must make our own decisions, even toward the church, with that in mind.\r
\r
But the next thing I remember is that if I were to leave, and my family discarded me, what kind of family is that? What kind of friends, from whom I never hear again? No relationship that is funneled through, and exists at the behest of, one man or institution, is a true relationship. And so while we must hold onto our family tighter than they hold to us, we must bear in mind their stunted relationship with human interaction in some ways changes the calculation.\r
\r
The last piece of wisdom I can bring to my theoretical decision is hindsight. Within months of leaving, I knew that the life in there was no life at all. Limited in scope, limited in inputs, creativity, promise, future. As detailed above, it was most limited in love. Without these things, chiefly love, what is there? Not much. Out here, there is life and promise and potential. Friends, true friends, and unconditional, Christian love.\r
\r
And so, as awful and broken a decision as it would be, I would urge myself to follow the path of truth. I'm the kind of person now who cannot abide living with lies, in large part from this experience. I would choose a life that extends to the horizons, where I can go and do as I am led and as I please. Love whom I want to in a way that echoes the scriptures, not have someone looking over my should at my recent contacts list.\r
\r
Leaving the church was the greatest pain I ever experienced, and it crushes me to know that there are people whose experiences dwarfed mine. But in the end, like most choices of its kind, it was no choice at all.
more