On a recent trip to Vegas I visited Glitter Gulch for a drink and to watch some pretty, topless women shake their stuff. What I got was a nightmare parody of a strip club visit.
So I go in, sit at the runway and order 2 beers (the door girl said $17.50, the waitress says $20). Down the runway comes a thick black gal with hips at least 48 inches wide. She squats down (picture a small sumo wrestler with boobs) and in a scratchy voice says, "Hi, honey!" All I could see were greased Jerri curls, butt cellulite and rolls of belly fat. She tried shoving her chest in my face and for the first time in my life I pulled away from the offer. She says, "What's the matter, honey?" Foolishly honest I said, "Eh, I don't find you attractive." Big mistake. She got nasty, I moved a few seats away then she began angrily flopping around on the runway in front of me. It was sad, ugly but also kind of funny. Mercifully her "show" ended and the next girl came on who was a bit better - dollars were given, all was cool or so I thought.
Within 5 minutes the black gal and another stripper who looked like a fortyish Elvira sat down on either side of me, clearly ticked that I wasn't going to be their personal ATM machine. After probably 10 minutes of their nearly incoherent insults, cursing and threats (and me guarding my wallet) I'd finished my two beers and split.
If this sounds like your idea of topless fun (or a sad, nasty joke) then don't wait another minute, hurry on down.
Pros: The good: There's a door to get out
Cons: The bad: Angry, overweight 40+ year old hustlers
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