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My earnest hope is to reach any person still attending this church who wants to leave, but remains hesitant for any number of legitimate fears, real or perceived. I hope to share a sliver of my experience of what it’s like to be shunned and rebuild one’s life from scratch. \r
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Instead of obfuscating my identity, let me introduce myself. My name is Daniel. I was booted in 2007, shortly after I graduated high school. During the meeting informing me of my excommunication (a meeting I hoped would show I didn’t intend to burn bridges), Norman James and Chris Otis laughed and mocked my decision to join the Marine Corps. To this day, I find this puzzling because I was planning to join an organization that protected, at all costs, their rights to worship and preach freely. The decision to join cost me a relationship with my parents, and for a time, my brother. Additionally, nearly every friend I had grown up with stopped talking to me immediately. \r
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Ultimately, becoming a Marine didn't pan out for me, but fortunately, I had strong support from family and friends that had already left the church or had never been members in the first place. They all showed me unconditional love by letting me stay (months at a time) in their homes, inviting me over for holidays, and genuinely being concerned for my welfare. They love me for who I am and seeking to become, not for where I can be found on Sunday mornings. As much as I am thankful and indebted for their kindness and love, the first few years after being shunned were, at times, extremely lonely. \r
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If you're at LCLC wondering what it's going to be like if you leave, I would tell you it's going to be a roller coaster. The highs and lows are exhilarating and excruciating. For me personally, there was an overarching feeling of unbridled excitement of exploring the vast new world outside of Lakeview. I know that 99% of the time the word ""world"" is used pejoratively where you are now, but if you haven't found this out yet, there's a great future, full of loving people and great experiences, outside of little Bridgeville, PA or even southwestern Pennsylvania. \r
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One morning last year, a friend of a friend, who was my age, was killed in a tragic accident. I never knew her personally, but at her funeral, it hit home for me: we all only have today, and in fact, we only have this exact moment. What I hope to impress upon you is that if you're unhappy every day (or at least every Sunday) at Lakeview, why go through the motions and feign happiness when everything inside of you screams to get out? Unquestionably, the process of separating from everything you've known will be an extremely painful one. It sucks not getting a call from your parents or close friends on your birthday. It sucks knowing that people who you thought were your friends are now sullying your name amid a circle of people who won't even say hi to you in public. \r
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All of this hurts. It's painful, but you can rise above it all. There IS hope. I’m confident that if you want to seek genuine happiness and acceptance, there are numerous local church families that will accept you with wide-open arms. I know a whole crowd of Former Members (now more connected, empowered, and vocal than ever before) that would do the same for you as well. Maybe you're married and have young kids and your husband or wife wants to remain. Maybe you're older and LCLC, as much pain as it causes you, is all you know and all you think you have. Maybe you're in LCA and can't wait to get out, but know you're stuck there until you graduate— to you especially, hang in there! These are all heart wrenching predicaments to be in, and I certainly can't offer any easy or quick fixes. I'm simply trying to help you realize that the ultimate happiness is worth the temporary intense pain. \r
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If you'd like to talk, I'd love to hear from you. Reach me on Facebook. \r
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Life's too short to go on being unhappy, my friends.
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