The management is nasty. The service is horrible. And, the environment could only be tolerated if this place were the best or the only place to eat seafood on the planet.\r
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There, now that I've made my point, let me explain. Tarks is one of those places that has just been there forever. I suppose if I lived close to it, I might have gotten in the habit of going for quick takeout; I might be a regular; and, the management might recognize me and be friendly. After seeing Tarks for years, and hearing about it from acquaintances, we decided to try it out, despite the drive from where we live.\r
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The first time was OK- I was hoping to find someplace with good fried oysters, so I asked if they made that... they said yes, and proceeded to destroy a batch of tiny and juiceless oysters. My wife enjoyed her clams, however. Everything is fried. I gave it the benefit of the doubt, and since the clams seemed good, we went back again; I assumed positive intent and figured they were having a bad day. On the second visit the place was incredibly crowded... standing room only. We managed to find a spot in the corner.\r
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Tarks is basically a glass hot-house in the afternoon, and on this day, the AC was definitely loosing. We ordered dinner (you have to yell your order over the noise), and proceeded to people watch. 30 minutes went by and it became apparent that our order was forgotten. When I waded through the crowd to the counter to figure out what had happened, a "regular" took my seat next to my wife, and moved in his two buddies around my wife, and if I wanted to sit, basically, we had to move. So, not being in a mood to argue since it was the hottest seat in the place anyhow, we went back to standing until another place freed up. When it did, my dinner was announced as ready. We found another spot along the outside counter that had just enough room for us both to squeeze in... but Jessie's food never came. At this point we were at about an hour and 20 minutes. A truly miserable hour an 20 minutes. When I asked the manager/owner what happened to my wife's order, he literally started yelling at me that I hadn't placed an order for her, and he got two beer-drinking regulars to chime in and agree with him. When I told him how long we had been there waiting, he informed me that we had just arrived, although he's the person we first placed the order with. When I pressed that no, we had been there by then an hour and a half, he again, and this time quite rudely, yelled at me that there was no way I had been waiting that long, and that he'd get to my order in turn (whatever that meant).\r
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So, by that point I'd had it, and I returned my untouched order to him and told him that I had had enough, that I didn't appreciate how he was treating me, and that I was leaving. He then really threw a fit, insisting that I pay for not only my order, but for the order that he now claimed he had started cooking for my wife. In a small gesture of fairness, I offered $5 to cover our sodas. He threw the bill back at me, and told me to get out and never return. I haven't, and it's been two years. I've also made it a point to tell everyone I know that this place is a definite NO GO.
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