Dinner plans at the new 4th Avenue eatery Ippudo were all sorts of f**ked when I strolled up to an 1 1/2 wait. The bio on the chef is absurd, something about a food theme park and renowned chef from Japan, n-e-way. That didn't work so I meandered around the E. Village along with G until we stumbled upon Tree (you like that rhyme?). My partner, aware of the not so favorable reviews, decided we brave it. Quaint, rustic decor and the potential for a quiet, tasteful eating experience seemed almost likely. We decided to eat in the outdoor seating area in the back although it was quite cold. When the menus came I was extremely disappointed, just another restaurant biting off Cafe Devillian type offerings. Completely un-inventive, sub par and under seasoned. The first 2 requests for wine were returned with the response, "unavailable". Though, as a consolation, we were offered a bottle twice as expensive as the others($65+). Outside of 2 women 2 tables down all over each other...that ended up in the bathroom(seriously)...this was a completely drab and uneventful eating experience full of mediocrity. Shiva would have to come down from heaven for me to eat at this place again.