Fork, forked me...
Friday, May 05, 2006
I'd read a review on this place and a friend had wanted to try it for quite some time, so we decided to check it out. I'll write what I thought was good first and then get to the nitty gritty.
Good: The murals on the wall which they kept from the previous restaurant.
Bad: Where do I start with this? To start, there are tables sitting outside, fully dressed and ready to be seated at, but apparently they are just for presentation as we were told (along with the several other who asked to be seated outside) that they didn't have a license to use them yet. Well, then why dress them up? Why even put them out if you're just going to taunt people with them? So, we are seated next to the window, which was a fine seat poisoned by the the server and busser reminding us twice that we had to "be out by 8:20" as someone else wanted that seat. Yes, I get it, out by 8:20, twice in twenty minutes I do not need to be told. Thanks. So, they put us on a time limit (less than two hours) but somehow didn't pick up their own pace. It's like they were testing to see how slow they could be and still get us out by 8:20. Not a fun game, for us. So, we sit, are handed menus and instantly asked what we want to drink. I hadn't even found the wine page. I don't know. She asked if we needed a minute, yes, duh. They have cocktails, but you wouldn't know it, as they had no alcohol list and the person we asked had to go back to the bar three times to figure out what types of gin they had. We were informed they only had a small bar for appertifs, which is fine, but they didn't even have Lillet. Really? It's a classic appertif. So, after examining the wine list, and seeing that 90% percent of what was on it you could buy at Safeway for half the price, we settled on a Spanish red for $55, very good, but eventually soured by the amount of sediment in the bottom (although this was not Fork's fault). Table presentation is a horrid mish mash of styles which alienate the eye. They overcrowd the table with enormous wine glasses which are way too much for Safeway caliber wine. Not only that, they take up so much of your table, that there was almost two spills trying to work around them. They have really nice bread plates (small, round, early 1900's silver pattern on the edge) but then they have these horrid forks and knifes that look like something you would buy from the Museum of Modern Art collection. They are not nice to eat off of. The plates they use for the starters are another modernist contrast which does not go at all with the decor of the rest of the place. Very square and stark white. Speaking of modernist, what is with the weird track lighting? It just doesn't fit and was overkill considering the amount of light coming in the building from outside. So on to food. We order starters (the Frisse salad, Blue Cheese and Duck Tart, and (sadly) General Tso's Sweetbreatds. First off, I'll say, don't order the sweetbreads. Ordering a $9 sweetbread from a place who's average entree is $25 was just a mistake. Anyplace in Chinatown will give you much better for less than $5. The salad was unexceptional, with the sliced potatoes being the only thing I remember. The tart was suppose to have duck, but you'd have never known it by the way it was cooked and prepared. It was shredded and totally over salted. I thought I was eating a cured pork and it didn't mesh well with the blue cheese. The tart pastry itself was bland, hard to cut and felt like something you'd buy at the store in a pinch. It didn't feel homemade at all. Initially we got the tart, it was gone shortly, and literally 16 minutes went by before we got the other two starters. I'm not sure what was going on with the kitchen, but they should have all come out together. They were soon finished. We drank some more wine, and waited for the entree. At this point, we're an hour into our meal and only have about 40 minutes left before we need to "be out." How so much time got spent on the wine and starters I am not sure. Well, the wine was gone before our meal hit the table. Now, we started with a cocktail and had a bottle of wine, and I'll tell you this, I've never finished a bottle of wine before the entree even hit the table. We waited, and waited, and waited some more. Our server (who looked like a blond-bobbed housewife from Renton, complete with mis-matched red lipstick on her pursed lips that didn't go with her facial tones) refilled our wine glasses three times before our meal came. Not a good sign. So, finally the meal. Duck BBQ. Frankly, I don't want to see the symbol BBQ anything on an entreel I'm paying $25 for. Know what I mean? It just gave an instant Ruth's Chris Steakhouse feel to the menu. And, I should have gone with something else. I was excited to have it as it came with brussel sprouts and polenta. Well, the sprouts were so minced they were unrecognizable and lacked any flavor. They may as well have put shredded cabbage on the plate and the polenta was horribly mushy and runny. The duck itself was fine, but the only real enjoyable part was the yummy encrusted edges. And for the record, for $25 bucks, I'd like more than six miniscule duck medallions on my plate. After we finished, we were asked if we wanted more wine (she made no mention of the sediment in the glasses that we couldn't even finish because there was so much) and/or dessert. I said, no thanks, and asked for the check, in which she seemed surprised. So, we get the check, and guess what? 11 minutes went by before it was even addressed. Seriously. The bill was about $125.00 and I have NEVER in my life left a restaurant feeling like I wasted so much money. I actually want a refund.