then this is the place for you! When I signed up for last summer, I had a choice of about 15 HMO companies and about 15,000 primary care doctors. I decided to pick one close to my apartment and... More

then this is the place for you! When I signed up for last summer, I had a choice of about 15 HMO companies and about 15,000 primary care doctors. I decided to pick one close to my apartment and call it a day. Later that fall, when I began having insane back pains, I decided to pay my first visit to my new doctor, Dr. Mellamed. I was pleased with the short wait, only to realize why. After listening to me describe my symptoms for about fifteen seconds, Dr. Mellamed gets up and leaves the room. When he returns, he has three unmarked small paper envelopes full of various pills. "Take these," he ordered in a thick accent. And before I could ask for further instructions, he had moved on to the next patient. I took the pills, got on the subway, and went to the only source of familiar medical sanity: Planned Parenthood. After a very long wait, my nurse practitioner got out her prescription guide to check out what the good doctor had given me. Apparently, he had given me a combination of laxatives, antacids, and strong pain relievers...she promptly instructed me to throw the pills away and proceeded to give me a thorough exam.
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