Zeno sucks balls. Big, hairy, stanky balls. Food: well, at least it's hot, and if you're there to get your drank on, you'll need sustenance. Atmosphere: spruced-up cafeteria with possibly the... More

Zeno sucks balls. Big, hairy, stanky balls. Food: well, at least it's hot, and if you're there to get your drank on, you'll need sustenance. Atmosphere: spruced-up cafeteria with possibly the worst THE WORST music in town...seriously, Zeno, I promise you, no one wants to hear the new Matchbox 20 album all the way through one time, let alone twice. Service: servicable. The only reason I am not embarrassed to meet my friends at Zeno is there is no where else in town where we can drink FOR FOUR HOURS for $10. It's that simple. Not even drinking at home is that cheap. And if Zeno were a place I'd actually want to go--a place with a real life to it, a personality--it would probably be overpriced. So they despoil one of the primest pieces of real estate in Minneapolis. At least they let us drink real real cheap. Pros: $10 gets you pretty drunk Cons: everything else
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I went to Zeno Cafe with a couple of friends after dinner on a Sunday. We looked at the desserts in the rotating display and took a seat. The waiter at first was a little chilly but quickly warmed... More

I went to Zeno Cafe with a couple of friends after dinner on a Sunday. We looked at the desserts in the rotating display and took a seat. The waiter at first was a little chilly but quickly warmed up. I ordered lava cake, my friends ordered the red velvet cake and a turtle cake. As I dug into my cake, I realized it was dry and a little tough. It tasted like unsweetened cocoa powder dusty and flavoless. The "lava" tasted like overly sweet dark cocoa syrup, the kind you pour onto ice cream. A weird combo of bland and shockingly sweet. The others tasted bad as well, a lot of the refrigerated/freezer taste to them. We asked the waiter if the desserts were made in house or bought in and of course they were bought in twice a week. I think it's weird for a cafe that bills itself as a place to get dessert to not make the desserts either in house or at the very least get well made desserts, esp for charging around $8 per giant serving of dessert. The lava cake at Chino Latino is superior to Zeno's. Pros: honest server Cons: desserts
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Wow. WTF Zeno? My sisters, Mom and myself wandered in here after a movie for some birthday cake. We're pretty quiet and friendly people. The host was nice, but our server was quite possibly insane... More

Wow. WTF Zeno? My sisters, Mom and myself wandered in here after a movie for some birthday cake. We're pretty quiet and friendly people. The host was nice, but our server was quite possibly insane or on something. He was particularly mean to my Mom. It was very, very strange. We were able to find the humor in the experience, but I don't think I'll be going back there unless I want to feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone or have a communicable disease. I attempted to reach the manager via phone and email with no repsonse at all. Not impressed. Pros: great desserts Cons: attitude of waitstaff, felt humiliated!
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I went to Zeno for the first time this weekend, and was pleasantly surprised. Appetizers and entrees were tasty and filling. I had expected only lame-o appetizers, but they had options that were... More

I went to Zeno for the first time this weekend, and was pleasantly surprised. Appetizers and entrees were tasty and filling. I had expected only lame-o appetizers, but they had options that were plenty filling. My friend and I both had a variation of mac & cheese which was quite good. (You might be saying 'how difficult is that to screw up?' Well, I've had lots of tasteless mac & cheese at places where you'd think it would be fab.) Menu was a bit limited, but expected that. Happy hour specials included bottomless wine and $4 martinis, which I wasn't able to indulge in, but everyone else around us was! And, happy hour didn't end at 5:30pm like so many places. Pros: tasty food, more than appetizers, good happy hr specials Cons: parking/logistics, acoustics
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My friend and I decided to check out their happy hour, and ordered a couple apps and martinis. My martini was mediocre, and our were tasty enough but not amazing. The thing that really irked me... More

My friend and I decided to check out their happy hour, and ordered a couple apps and martinis. My martini was mediocre, and our were tasty enough but not amazing. The thing that really irked me was that we ordered two dip type apps and got about enough bread to use up maybe 1/4 of each dip, so I asked for more bread (she brought enough to eat another 1/4 of dip) and they charged us for the "extra" bread (w/o mentioning that it would be extra of course)! I just thought that was completely ridiculous. Service was slow also, overall a mediocre time, the specials were decent but could have gotten better food/drinks elsewhere in Uptown. Pros: decent happy hour Cons: slow service, food and drinks mediocre
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I went Zeno Cafe on a friday night just for a late night treat. I should have just went to the Dairy Queen down the block and saved myself the drive and the money. The service was just ok. I got... More

I went Zeno Cafe on a friday night just for a late night treat. I should have just went to the Dairy Queen down the block and saved myself the drive and the money. The service was just ok. I got ice cream with a brownie and I am telling you if it came from Cub Foods it would have tasted just as good!! My boyfriend got a coffee and it was terrible and cold. I would never go back or recommend it to anyone.
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Zeno is just steps from the heart of Uptown and offers a fun place to enjoy drinks and FANTASTIC desserts. Unbelieveable wine menu with a Happy Hour festuring a bottomless glass! Desserts are fun,... More

Zeno is just steps from the heart of Uptown and offers a fun place to enjoy drinks and FANTASTIC desserts. Unbelieveable wine menu with a Happy Hour festuring a bottomless glass! Desserts are fun, flavorsful and very satisfying! Service is great, knowledgeable and friendly!
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My girlfriends and I went here for a girls evening out for their happy hour- (3-7) on their website it says 3 dollar martinis, but the prices raised to 4 dollars for happy hour, and 8 dollars during... More

My girlfriends and I went here for a girls evening out for their happy hour- (3-7) on their website it says 3 dollar martinis, but the prices raised to 4 dollars for happy hour, and 8 dollars during regular hours. We got there late, with only about a half hour before happy hour ended, and quickly ordered our first martinis. They were kind of slow in coming, as we hoped to order another before happy hour ended, and our waitress didn't tell us when the last call for happy hour was (at 6:45) but luckily we asked and they let us all order a second martini even though we'd just gotten our first. And they were AMAZING! My favorites were the white mint kiss and the coast 2 coast. The food was also delicious, and if you take advantage of their daily deals you get a great value. I'm definitely going back. Pros: Happy hour! Cons: kind of slow service
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Dear Reader, This was easily the most memorable night of my life to date! After a recent engagement announcement, my finace and I wanted to host an engagement party for our college friends in a... More

Dear Reader, This was easily the most memorable night of my life to date! After a recent engagement announcement, my finace and I wanted to host an engagement party for our college friends in a less "stuffy environment". We wanted to throw a party for a very large group and our first choice venue was, hands down, Zeno Cafe. I have never heard or used the F-word (FABULOUS) so many times in one night! The food was absolutely amazing! The service was friendly, helpful and very personable. We even had little pre-cut desserts served to each of our guests. Definitely the best large-group restaurant experience I have ever had. A very intimate and trendy space for any type of meal for any size group. I am in LOVE with the Gentlemen's Cosmo, but the Sangri-tini is also delicious! Pros: Fast and friendly service, delicious culinary creations Cons: Can get crowded if there are lots of people
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What a great time! We were actually recommended to go there by another restaurant. The staff was always on top of everything that we needed. The bartender and manager were extremly friendly and... More

What a great time! We were actually recommended to go there by another restaurant. The staff was always on top of everything that we needed. The bartender and manager were extremly friendly and easy to talk to. It was nice to be able to carry on a conversation with your friend and still enjoy the happening atmosphere. The drinks were phenomenal, and the Creme Brulee was to die for!
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