Absolutely, 100% without question, the worst meal I have ever had.\r
\r
From inflight meals, to remote villages in East Asia to 5 star restaurants to neighborhood delis and everywhere in between, this place embodied the worst of all sustenance I have consumed.\r
\r
My cocktail, a $25 creation, the Cavitini described as a dirty martini with olives and caviar, was a glass of vodka straight up served with a cucumber slice with a minuscule portion of caviar. No biggie, I had them dirty my vodka and moved on. My husband ordered the vodka flight. The four shots of vodka came out with no ice bath or anything to keep them cold and the portions were already at room temperature when served. \r
\r
Our amuse-bouche was tiny white chocolate drops with hardened congealed fishy caviar. We ignored it, hoping for the best when the food came. My Foie Gras arrived, two hunks of liver like cubes atop thin bread wafers drenched in oil and cherry preserves. The smell coming from the dish was exactly that of my dog’s ear infection, it was inedible. I am a huge fan of Foie Gras; I order it every chance I get this was not even remotely, what I was expecting. We asked for the plate to be removed and I did not complain thinking I perhaps was in the wrong, despite my husband’s pleading that I say something.\r
\r
Our meal came; my Chicken Kiev was a dry husk. A waiter came over with pomp and circumstance to make the first cut; when no butter or juices ran out he simply turned and walked away quickly. A huge dry chicken nugget atop cheap white rice rather than the traditional Plov that was described on the menu. The sad vegetables on the side were unseasoned and over cooked. My husband’s duck was fatty and cold with no flavor. Both plates looked like churned out airplane food. We barely made it through them and after waiting for desert for 20 minutes, we asked for the desserts ‘to go’ and the check. \r
\r
The desserts came plated shortly after. \r
\r
The blintzes were great. The cheesecake was missing the chocolate shavings and fruit advertised and tasted frozen or at least refrigerated for an extended time.\r
\r
My husband complained to the manager who had no knowledge of the menu or any Russian cuisine at all. They offered us no alternative, no discount, no nothing, hardly an apology just the empty promise of letting the chef know our concerns. We paid $400 for a meal that was largely inedible. This was a horrible waste of time and money. We have lived in the city for nearly a decade, anywhere else would have been a much better celebration of Valentine’s Day. We dine out all the time and while we are not foodies, we know what tastes good and are not afraid to spend money to have a memorable meal. This was not worth a dime of our hard-earned salaries.\r
\r
\r
To add insult to injury, as we made our escape – our coats taken at the door were nowhere to be found, our coat check ticket never came to the table as we witnessed for a myriad of other diners. After being scolded by the woman at the coat check for losing our nonexistent ticket my husband had to go into the coatroom and find our coats. Once found we were treated like criminals trying to perform an outerwear heist. It was horribly insulting and ridiculous. Do NOT dine at the Russian Tea Room. It's terrible.\r
more