Visiting Miami for the first time, so I decided to check out Club Madonna since it's the only strip club in South Beach. Despite the subpar reviews, I called to ask if there was a cover charge as well as a drink minimum. The lady, who sounded elderly, was rude and seemed bothered by my call. She stated due to Miami Beach law, there was no alcohol served, which I found weird since liquor is mentioned in a lot of reviews. I was in the process of asking if I could bring my own liquor, but the chick just hung up. Wtf? So rude.
Anyway, I went to Club Madonna, and it was $10 for chicks. There was no drink minimum, but surprise, surprise, there was a bar. I didn't bother to buy a drink tho cuz as soon as I got in, I noticed the unattractive chicks w/ fake boobs and horrible wigs. I decided to give the club a chance and watched terrible "dance "after terrible "dance". It came to a point where girls were simply walking around the pole, haphazardly & carelessly pressing their privates to the pole, and dancing like someone's grandma in front of the mirror. It was sad and a waste of my money. These chicks weren't getting any tips (especially from me) cuz they were unimpressive and acted like they didnt want to work. It was surprising that the only decent dancers that showed energy, danced on beat, and did some tricks were a plus size dancer and an anorexic, tranny looking dancer. They deserved the cash they got. Everybody else should have been fired.
Aw, man, and these dancers also seemed to be homophobic or something. There were quite a few lesbians there, and they mostly got ignored. There were some young lesbians sitting next to me...maybe 18 or 19. At one point, they yelled out to a dancer who they actually WANTED a lap dance from, and the dancer blew them off for some dude who eventually blew her off. Just bad business. Then, one of the young lesbians actually got up, and walked over to a dancer and ASKED the stripper for a dance. What did the stripper say? She replied no, I only do private dances (which are like $300+). Clearly, she didn't come to work.
This is a shitty place, and they need to fire 99% of those lazy dancers, and do better. Shout out to hard workers like Honey and Candy. I probably would never come back here again. Oh! And I forgot, the pole on the main stage isn't even legit. How is your main pole not going to be a sturdy piece that's connected to the ceiling, but some cheap flimsy thing? Sad...
Pros: Not a thing.
Cons: Unattractive dancers, rude cashier, bad performances,etc.